


Quarantine Disclaimer: May Expose Relationship Problems (SPIN OFF! Min Yoongi: Accounts from Youth series)

by seoulights



Series: Min Yoongi. Accounts from Youth. [4]
Category: Bangtan, bts, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Coronavirus, Cute, Fluff, Fluffy, Funny, Humour, I should really be finishing part 3 first, I'm so bored, Isolation, M/M, Pandemic - Freeform, Panic Attacks, Quarantine, Spin Off, Virus, accounts from youth, accounts from youth series, actually really good writing, intimacy issues, seriously, super good series, this is an extra, wow this series is amazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:36:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24580141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seoulights/pseuds/seoulights
Summary: *This is a mini spin-off, set between parts 2 and 3 of "Min Yoongi: Accounts from Youth" and I highly recommend readers read parts 1 and 2 before diving into this!*It's March 2020. Daegu, South Korea. A lot has happened since the new year, but the biggest development of all was something that none of the seven boys could have ever predicted. Not in their wildest nightmares.Yoongi and Jungkook have barely begun dating but they are flung into quarantining in the apartment together and they realise they have a lot more to figure out than they first imagined. Jungkook can't guess why Yoongi keeps hiding his phone screen from him and why the boy who frowns at sunlight suddenly wants to go on picture-perfect picnics in Duryu Park. Namjoon and Seokjin are struggling to come to terms with their rapidly changing relationship which everyone is pretending isn't happening, for some reason. And the others are trying to survive being trapped together 24/7, which is easily the biggest challenge of them all.What really happened between the events at the warehouse and where we find Yoongi and the others in part 3? Here I present: a fluff and angst-filled special guaranteed to make your quarantine at least 1% better.
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook & Min Yoongi | Suga, Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin
Series: Min Yoongi. Accounts from Youth. [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1229801
Comments: 11
Kudos: 4





	1. The Confusion

**Author's Note:**

> Hello wonderful readers!
> 
> It's been a long time since I've actually posted a whole new work, though this is a spin-off!
> 
> I had the idea to write this months ago but it was postponed because of my exams. Anyone who's up to date on part 3 of the series will know I've had some tech issues recently also, but these days my laptop is working so long as it's plugged in. It's a really creepy situation: it turns on and off by itself constantly and sometimes totally blacks out. Yes, my computer is having black days a la Min Yoongi.
> 
> So anyway, please enjoy this little, slightly more light-hearted special! It is set between parts 2 and 3, SPECIFICALLY between the last chapter of part 2 and the epilogue of part 2, which takes place in June 2020. The timings (incredibly) match up to reality!
> 
> I'll still be posting updates on part 3 and I will be rotating between these two for the next few weeks! 
> 
> I hope my readers are doing well and also doing their bit to support the #BlackLivesMatter movement. I've fundraised on my fanbase this week and it's going well! Keep doing your work ARMY! I'm so proud of everything I've seen!
> 
> \- Lisa

It was a stifling day in March. Too hot for the season. That premature heatwave had brought with it more than just sizzling pavements and clear, crisp blue skies, but also a wave of something much more grave. This time it wasn’t an earthquake, nor an off-shore scuffle with the North, it was something much deadlier and far more discreet than anything the world had faced in a lifetime.

‘...Public gatherings are strongly discouraged. Non-essential businesses must close from tomorrow until further notice. Each person may leave their house for up to an hour a day to exercise. Limit your supermarket trips to once a week and only one person from each household may enter the supermarket at a time. If you have been in contact with someone who has the virus, you must self-isolate for fourteen days and be tested at a local testing site--’

‘This is fucked up…’ Yoongi said under his breath. The entire group was gathered nervously around the TV set. 

‘So, I guess we won’t be going to class for a while…’ Jimin said quietly. Jungkook nodded. 

‘We’ll drive each other mad trapped here!’ Said Hoseok indignantly. The others sighed. He was right. The boys loved each other, but they also drove one another up the wall on a daily basis. At least Hoseok and Yoongi had stopped arguing, otherwise they’d have a really serious problem on their hands. Perhaps a deadlier one than the pandemic.

Yoongi tried not to let his inappropriate joy show on his face. He was supposed to be starting some kind of job soon but he couldn’t be less fucked to do anything in his entire life and the pandemic meant that his starting date had been pushed back a month. He’d only just started spending time with Jungkook as something well… something more than a friend, and whilst it wouldn’t exactly seem like they were a couple to an outsider, being that they never touched each other in front of anyone else and never made a hint at their feelings towards one another, they were in their own version of the “Honeymoon Phase.”  _ Whatever the hell that meant _ , Yoongi had thought when he’d read about it online.

Yoongi hadn’t admitted to anyone that he’d profusely Googled “relationships,” “boyfriends” and just about everything he could think of related to the topic after they’d confessed their love to each other. After Yoongi had broken into the warehouse and they’d almost died for each other, it was undeniable that they had been in love the whole time, even if Yoongi hadn’t been able to realise it. Others probably thought they were insane, but despite all of the horrific things that happened that day, Jungkook and Yoongi could only smile like embarrassed school boys when they talked about it. There truly was no pain from that day, not really. It had been terrifying and painful at the time of course, but neither of them could think of it in that way because of the result that came out of it. 

Upon one of his many Google searches he made sitting at the café when Jungkook was working, Yoongi stumbled upon an article which detailed an average timeline of events in romantic relationships. It called out to him because the information seemed clear and concise and he was looking for resources that spelled out relationship stuff step-by-step because he was utterly clueless. He’d opened it eagerly at the time. Yoongi had been scouring for information in particular about when he should be doing certain things with Jungkook, but all he’d found was a calendar for “couple days” that apparently happened every single month. It had a handy app too, so he’d downloaded it but some of the themes were so ridiculous that he started to think it was some kind of prank for inexperienced people like himself. There was one called “Green Day” which Yoongi knew was a band and not a public holiday. As if couples would really set aside a day to drink soju together. 

‘First week: hand-holding. Take lots of walks together, watch the sunset, order coffee…’ he read under his breath. 

_ Done that… _ he checked off the weeks mentally. It had only been a couple of months. He couldn’t have missed that much out.

**Second week, eat at a restaurant together. Make a note of the food they like so you can cook it later. Pro-tip: next time, say you’ll order the food for them. Show you really paid attention.**

**Third week, go to the cinema. This is your chance to make a move.**

_ “Make a move”? What the hell does that imply?  _ Yoongi wasn’t exactly savvy with such lingo. 

**Fourth week, cook for them at home. Wine: necessary. You should be at the stage of making out regularly by this point.**

Yoongi froze up. It was already past week four.  _ Hell, _ it was at least week eight, that was double four weeks! But he and Jungkook hadn’t done anything remotely close to that yet. “Making out” already? Yoongi knew they were far from that stage. Where the hell did this come from? Was hand-holding not enough to be part of the scale? 

He started to wonder whether that was why Jungkook had been distracted recently. Was he waiting for him to give him the green light? Was he waiting on him to… “make a move” by himself?  _ Oh fuck… _

Yoongi couldn’t stop himself from reading on after that.

**Fifth week, it’s time to start touching. We mean,** **_really_ ** **touching.**

_ WHAT? Touching WHAT?! _

**Sixth week. Buy them flowers. It’s now the perfect time to take things further. Suggest a movie night at your place but make it clear that you’re not actually going to watch movies. That should do the trick.**

Yoongi’s jaw fell open. It’s supposed to happen in six weeks? Just six? They were already two weeks late and they hadn’t even reached week four levels yet! The thought of going further so soon made Yoongi feel sick. It wasn’t that he was disgusted by Jungkook, not by any means, but the idea of sex itself was just… unthinkable. He didn’t realise that normal couples just rushed in like that, they only took six weeks to reach that stage… no wonder Jungkook wasn’t happy with him. He was already doing such a terrible job as his boyfriend so far.

What was wrong with him anyway? He used to make out with random guys all the time. Granted, he was usually off his face on drugs and drunk too. He barely knew what he was even doing on those occasions. Okay, it did make sense, the more he thought about it. The reason he got high when he was meeting guys in clubs was because there’s no way he could stand to do anything like that sober. But he knew he wouldn’t do anything like that unsober with Jungkook. It would cheapen what they were supposed to have together. Yoongi didn’t exactly know what he wanted, or how far he’d ever realistically be able to go considering the trauma of his past, but he knew whatever it was he wanted it to be organic. It was the very least Jungkook deserved.

**Seventh week. It’s time to get comfortable with one another. Maybe ask some intimate questions, what are their kinks? What really turns them on? You need to know this stuff in order to proceed to week eight.**

**Eighth week. Get experimental. Suggest trying out sex toys--**

‘Hey, what’s that you’re reading--’

‘GAH! I didn’t-- I’m not reading anything!’ Yoongi blurted out at Jungkook who was peering down at him with a steaming coffee mug in one hand and a warmed up chocolate chip cookie in the other. 

Jungkook looked surprised. The other customers sitting around them had turned around at Yoongi’s sudden outburst. His cheeks fired up.

‘I mean, I was reading something but it’s nothing interesting…’ Yoongi said in a more dignified tone. Jungkook took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Yoongi had been strangely jumpy the last week or so whenever he was caught looking at something on his phone. Jungkook had no idea what it could be. Usually people only acted like that when they were reading something dirty, like erotic fan fiction… but there was no way Yoongi was doing that. 

‘I’ll take your word for it,’ Jungkook replied with a smile.  _ Whatever it is, it’s probably better that I don’t know about it if Yoongi doesn’t want me to. _

‘How’s business today?’ Yoongi asked as Jungkook set down his order. Well, it wasn’t exactly his “order” as he hadn’t explicitly asked for it, but Jungkook always just brought over whatever he thought he would like that day.

‘Slow… it’s obvious why though. Everyone’s starting to stay at home because of the virus.’

‘What virus?’ Jungkook raised his eyebrows. Yoongi glanced down from his face for a moment to note how good he looked in his trim, black apron. He didn’t know why he liked seeing him in it, but he liked how it made him look wholesome and bright because that was how he saw Jungkook in his head. It also let him show off his arm muscles through the white sleeves of his shirt and it accentuated the broadness of his chest. Yoongi swallowed awkwardly as he realised his glance had turned into a stare. 

‘Hey, my eyes are up here,’ Jungkook joked, bending down to meet Yoongi’s gaze.

‘S-sorry, I wasn’t looking at anything; I was just admiring the apron-- thing. It looks smart, is it uh-- new?’ Jungkook chuckled.

‘No, it’s the same old apron. But anyway, are you being serious? You haven’t heard about the epidemic in China?’ Yoongi shook his head. 

‘Wuhan?’ 

Yoongi looked off to the side with embarrassment. He really had no idea what Jungkook was talking about but it made him feel like a right idiot that he didn’t know. Whatever it was seemed to be common knowledge, apparently. It was just  _ another _ thing he was painfully ignorant about.

‘Okay, well, there’s a new virus and it’s spreading pretty quick. Some people caught it in Daegu, in fact, I think it’s quite a lot but they don’t have the data just yet.’ 

‘Surely they know already from Seoul?’ Jungkook shook his head. Yoongi tried not to stare at his cheeks this time. They looked especially plump today. And soft. Okay, he was staring. At least it was socially acceptable to stare at a facial feature. More or less.

‘No, weirdly, it’s starting to explode here first. Nobody knows why.’ 

‘Well whatever,’ Yoongi sat back and folded his arms. ‘It’s not like some flu is going to stop people coming to the café. That can’t be it.’ 

‘That’s the crazy part. It is. That’s how massive this is, I can’t believe you haven’t heard anything about it until now. Just this morning my boss even mentioned that there’s a chance we’ll have to shut down for a while.’

‘What? What difference will that make? Obviously if you’re sick you don’t go out in public that’s common sense.’

‘See the thing is, people don’t even know that they’re carrying it. It’s possible to be asymptomatic, they said so on the news today. That means it’s really dangerous for anywhere to stay open.’

‘Pfft, it can’t be that extreme. That kind of stuff is just sensationalism brewed up for a news story. It’s not like they can shut down a city like Daegu, the authorities would never agree to that. Imagine what it would do to the economy?’

‘Well, that’s what they did in Wuhan, the place where the virus broke out. They have eleven million inhabitants, we only have five million. It’s totally possible.’ Yoongi looked put out. He couldn’t quite believe that something like that could ever actually happen in Korea. It still seemed impossible to him despite what Jungkook was saying. 

  
  


It wouldn’t be long, however, before he was proven wrong. A week later the whole group found themselves in the flat, hearing that they couldn’t go to work or school anymore. Yoongi had just been offered a night shift role in a convenience store which he had accepted, but he wouldn’t be working for at least another month. Jimin and the other students had been told to keep studying from home and soon they would be receiving online lectures. Taehyung wasn’t bothered by it being that he did most of his work at home anyway, but Jimin was a shell of his former self.

‘How am I supposed to pirouette in here? I’ll whack my foot against furniture or something! How the hell do I perfect my split jump in this tiny space? There’s no way I’ll be able to do the summer show if I have to do all of my rehearsals in the apartment! Jesus, someone else in my class with the space to practice will overtake me… I can’t let that happen!’ He exploded in an outburst at hearing the newsreader say that all sports centres, including dance studios of course, were to be closed too. 

‘Jimin-ah,’ Yoongi droned. ‘Calm your ribbons. Just go outside somewhere. It’s not that big of a deal.’

‘ _ Outside? _ You think I can let people see my personal practice regime? It’s a secret! Plus what can I even do without mirrors… I have to watch myself otherwise I’ll have no idea what I look like!’ 

‘Well, since we’re supposed to stay inside nobody will see your practice, and I’ll just come and film it for you so you can watch it back! Oh, OH! And I can bring my work with me and paint in the park! That is such an aesthetic. I’ve always wanted to do that, would you take photos of me?’ Taehyung grabbed onto Jimin’s shoulders with excitement. They were both sitting pressed into one another on the main couch. Hoseok was on Jimin’s left, sandwiching him in the middle the way he always ended up somehow, and Namjoon and Jin were occupying the arms. Jungkook and Yoongi were sitting awkwardly on either arm of the other armchair, neither of them daring to sit on the seat.

Jimin sighed exasperated.

‘That’s not going to work! I need to see myself in the moment and the camera always lies.’ 

‘No, it’s a good idea actually,’ interjected Namjoon. ‘The camera  _ does _ lie but that’s not a bad thing. It’s a psychology concept; I read it in that book that Jin gave me. It’s fascinating. You can actually get better if you film yourself dancing because it won’t look as good as it does in real life, so you’ll have to try even harder to satisfy yourself.’ 

Jin glanced over at Namjoon with a confused expression. That wasn’t what the book was about at all, he knew because he’d read it himself. Namjoon winked at him and Jin realised what he was doing. He looked away innocently and Namjoon had to hide his smirk.

‘Well.. I suppose that’s possible…’ Jimin mumbled.

‘Sure it is!’ added Hoseok, ‘I hate watching videos of myself but whenever I do I notice exactly what I need to do to take my performance to the next level. People upload videos of me to YouTube a lot so I have to do even better to look good in them. It’s the best promo I can get! It would be really helpful for your dancing, I think.’

Jimin nodded slowly. He was being convinced, though not without some resistance. More than anything, he didn’t fancy being away from his classmates for very long because they were always encouraging him a lot. He liked how he was able to show off and be someone special in the class because he was one of the few young students who had already developed his own personal style. He knew when he was alone he was much harder on himself because he had a tendency to beat himself up when he couldn’t master a move exactly how he wanted to. In class everyone else would think he was amazing even if he wasn’t performing at his full capacity, and that always stopped him from falling into a dangerous cycle.

He sighed as he decided to keep that concern to himself for the time being. He was already starting to get anxious about the day he had to leave his class behind for a professional company. What were the chances that they’d be as encouraging as they were?

‘Well what about Hoseok Hyung?’ Asked Jungkook. ‘What will you do?’

Hoseok shrugged.

‘What can I do? I can’t go out onto the streets for a while. I have some money saved up so I’ll be fine for a while.’

‘We’ve got you if you run out,’ said Yoongi. Hoseok didn’t respond. They were trying out this new thing where if they felt like something they said could potentially start an argument, especially one that was unproductive or one they’d had a hundred times before, they had better say nothing at all. It worked pretty well except it was almost impossible for Yoongi not to ask what the problem was when Hoseok didn’t say anything. He told himself that it wasn’t an argument worth having if Hoseok decided it wasn’t. 

There was an awkward silence after that. But they all knew silence was better than the other option.

Eventually, Jin spoke up.

‘So, I’ll also be out of work, if anyone noticed.’ 

‘Oh, of course!’ Said Jungkook hastily.

‘Nobody forgot,’ Namjoon reassured him. ‘We just know you’ll be alright. You make more money than any of us. It’ll be like a break, didn’t you want a vacation anyway?’ 

‘Yes I mean… I did say that but… what am I going to do all day? My clients aren’t just my financial source, they’re also my--’

‘Thi-iiink carefully about what word you’re going to use, this is a PG household now,’ Taehyung said loudly. The other boys sniggered. 

Jin coughed.

‘I was going to say they are my passions.’

‘Bit much, but we’ll allow it,’ Taehyung said with a satisfied pout. Jin glared at him.

‘We’ll all just have to find hobbies or something,’ said Namjoon. ‘I’ve always wanted to start knitting--’ 

‘PSSHT,’ Taehyung spluttered with laughter. 

‘What?! What’s wrong with knitting?!’ Yoongi tried to hold back his giggles for the sake of Namjoon but it was practically impossible for that boy.

‘Are you an eighty year old  _ ahjumma _ ? Come on, knitting?’ 

‘What, I thought your whole thing was “fuck gender standards! Let me wear a skirt to class” or whatever that campaign was last year.’

‘Okay fine it’s age discrimination then. I never said I was against that. Are you fucking eighty years old?’

‘Shut the fuck up! I’ll learn to knit if I want to!’ 

‘Fucking hell,’ Yoongi drawled. ‘We’ve only been trapped together here for one morning and it’s already come to this.’ He rubbed his forehead as Jungkook let out a giggle.

‘Come on guys, it’ll be fun! Namjoon can start his knitting, Hoseok can uh… bake?’ Hoseok nodded with genuine interest, ‘Jin can pose for raunchy photos with Taehyung--’ 

‘Perfect. Love it,’ Taehyung declared. Jin shook his head subtly. That really wasn’t his style, but he appreciated Jungkook’s effort. 

‘--Jimin can dance in the park or whatever and we… well, I’ll get to stay here the whole time!’ Yoongi couldn’t stop himself before he sat up with piqued interest at what Jungkook had just said. The others turned to look at him. 

‘Y-you’ll stay here? All the time?’ 

‘Yeah! If that’s… okay with you I mean?’

‘In my bed?’ Taehyung snorted.

‘Well, maybe I’ll sleep on the couch. I don’t want to kick Namjoon Hyung out.’

‘No-- no need, Jungkook-ah. You can use our bed.’ Jin looked at Namjoon like he wanted to say something but he held himself back. Everyone was well aware of their relationship silently brewing in the background, but for some reason or another none of them wanted to be the first one to start talking about it like it was common knowledge. Jungkook was the only one who was still kinda oblivious to the whole affair. The truth was that Namjoon had been sleeping with Jin in the big room for the past two months and Hoseok had been sharing Yoongi’s bed. It was a weird, unspoken agreement that just sort-of manifested on its own accord between them all.

Hoseok eyed Namjoon and Jin and then Yoongi, who were all staring back at him with quiet expectation. Hoseok pursed his lips and looked away. He would be taking the couch, it appeared. He didn’t exactly have a say in the matter.

‘Thanks, Hyung!’ 

‘So Jungkook is sleeping in my bed,’ Yoongi said deadpan, not directed at anyone in particular.

_ Shit. It’s week nine. Is this the subtle suggestion they were talking about in week six? If he mentions a movie, it’s game-over. _

‘I mean, only if you’re really comfortable with it? Like, really comfortable. I don’t want to force--’

‘No, no I didn’t think you were…’ Yoongi suddenly turned to face Jungkook straight on. He looked at him intensely so he could understand what he wanted to communicate. He wasn’t going to fall behind any later in the schedule. He was going to make it up to Jungkook and be the good boyfriend he should be. He would have to find some way to make up for their lost time, but his mind was swimming at the idea of even taking one step further. He had no idea how to get over his endless trauma within the space of a week so he could go further with their intimacy, but he was going to have to find some way. It wasn’t realistic for him to ask Jungkook to wait for him for however many months, even years that it could take for him to get to that stage naturally. He’d have to figure out a quick fix. Some way that he could make it possible between them… 

Yoongi was determined. He realised this lockdown had given him just the chance he needed to get his boyfriend skills up to scratch. And he was willing to do whatever it would take to do so.

He took a deep preparatory breath.

‘I’m okay with it, okay?! I want you to sleep with me!’ Yoongi blurted. Jungkook’s mouth fell open. His cheeks went red as fire.

The other boys fell silent. Well, all except Taehyung, who always had his own reaction to anything that ever happened. 

‘What the fuck Yoongi,’ he said quietly. ‘In front of all of us? Did I not just say this household was PG now?’’ 

‘Uh- no I don’t mean like, I don’t mean it like that, I just meant, in the bed and… all that stuff… same mattress!’ Yoongi shook as he stood up. He couldn’t cope with the shame. It was horrifying enough to have to broach subjects of sex in his own mind, but in front of his friends? Even though he didn’t mean anything by it, the mere suggestion of Yoongi doing anything in that lane was grotesque to him. 

He felt like there was a physical wall in his mind. He had never really seen the point in trying to break it down, after all, he had no inclination towards having sex with anyone before, so what would be the point in trying to face it? It towered above him, dark and strong, and he imagined himself looking up at the edge, wondering if it was even possible to tear down something as fortified as that. 

But… he also knew he wanted to. Just that thought alone made something turn in his stomach. He wanted to, in fact, he knew the desire was strong, but it was at the other side of that wall. That wall that he might never be able to get through. Everything in his past had built that structure up brick-by-brick, and it had already taken all of his might just to survive until that point… was it greedy of him to want something more than just being alive? All the same dilemmas that he’d become accustomed to tossing and turning over were suddenly at the forefront of his mind. A lot of them led back to that one particular issue of intimacy. 

Yoongi realised he was playing a losing game by trying to bring himself to a point where he could be physical with Jungkook. It may never happen. And what did that mean for their relationship? Without even being aware of it, he was already weeks behind on what was expected for a normal couple to experience. Jungkook was probably expecting a lot more, he reasoned. Though he’d also been through his own haunting experiences with sex back when they were in Seoul, he’d managed to overcome his trauma through years of dedicated therapy. Without a doubt he would want a fulfilling sexual partner, and it hit Yoongi square in the head that he might not be able to be that person. Ever.

All of these thoughts and fears zoomed through his mind at lightning speed, unstoppable, within the few seconds that everyone was watching him stand up. He’d been there before. That sensation in his stomach wasn’t just a butterfly or two.

Basically, Yoongi was fucked. And he knew it.

  
  


‘I- I gotta go somewhere,’ he said breathlessly as he quickly escorted himself from the living room. He headed towards the front door. Everyone jumped up to stop him, surprised that Yoongi was somehow having an attack at seemingly nothing. They quickly reigned their own panic back in, in order to help him.

‘No, Yoongi stay with us, it’s not safe to go out right now. Plus, remember your new strategy?’ Namjoon said calmly. He had no idea how Yoongi had suddenly triggered it out of nowhere, but then again it wasn’t the first time it had ever happened. 

‘Don’t worry we’re not judging you. Mr. Chang said it would be better if you stayed with us too, remember?’ said Jungkook softly. None of them took a step towards him. They let him make the decision by himself. That was a new thing they’d decided upon recently following advice from his psychiatrist.

‘I-- uh…’ Yoongi knew he was supposed to do that. He also knew that he was supposed to talk out whatever thoughts he was having when the attack started, but how the hell was he supposed to explain what he’d just thought about? 

He didn’t have much time. He was starting to hyperventilate. He stood at the door like an awkward coat hanger, hunched over slightly as he tried to catch his breath. It physically pained the others, especially Jungkook, that they couldn’t approach him. He had to command himself to stay where he was on the other side of the room, going against all of his instincts that were screaming at him to hold him.

‘I really-- want to go out-- alone--,’ he managed through hitched breaths, bending over now as the iron weight began to descend on his chest. 

‘Hyung, it’s not safe, there’s a pandemic remember?’ said Taehyung tentatively. The boys were all restraining themselves to be as cool as possible. He sat back down. 

‘Yeah, if you go out you might bring something nasty back in, and that won’t be fun for any of us,’’ said Jimin reasonably, following Taehyung’s cue and trying to make himself relax as well. 

‘We’d all have to deal with Namjoon’s “sick person soup” again, and you know what  _ that  _ tastes like,’ Jimin continued, knowing a little Namjoon teasing was always good for diffusing Yoongi’s tension. Namjoon was too concerned about Yoongi to retort.

‘It’s your call, but I agree you’d be better staying here,’ said Namjoon, also finding his spot again on the arm of the couch. Yoongi still hadn’t moved. Jungkook was moments away from breaking the rule. He couldn’t take watching him from afar much longer.

‘Okay,’ Yoongi said at the last moment. ‘I’ll stay.’ He reminded himself that he’d made a promise to himself to listen to his friends when he was having a bad moment, even if he really,  _ really _ didn’t want to. He hadn’t made that pact for nothing. He’d even written it on a piece of paper and tied it to some tree in the park without the others knowing. He felt kind of stupid for doing at the time, but just remembering that it was there made his promise feel all the more real.

‘Do you want to sit here?’ Jungkook asked quicker than he should have. ‘I’ll help you.’

‘No-- I’ll stay here,’ Yoongi replied, knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to get himself back over to the chair. 

‘Can I help?’ asked Jungkook. 

‘Please--’ Yoongi said though it came out as a cough. He was choking on his breaths. 

Jungkook walked over swiftly but composedly to the spot next to the door where Yoongi was keeled over. The other boys turned back to the TV and tried to start up some kind of normal conversation. It was what they had been advised to do. Their approach was a million miles away from what it once was, back when they would be so freaked out by Yoongi’s attacks that they’d act like he’d just been shot. They didn’t realise at the time that their dramatic responses were only making it worse for him. They also had to learn as much as he did when it came to his recovery plan set by Mr. Chang. It was recent and they were only just starting to get used to it.

‘Sit down for me, Yoongs,’ Jungkook said quietly. Yoongi was still gripping onto his knees in an uncomfortable body fold. He tried to repress his incessant hacking so he could lower himself down.

‘That’s it, easy,’ Jungkook smoothed, guiding him to the floor. He didn’t let his hands touch Yoongi’s body, rather, he held them just an inch away so that he was ready to catch him if he slipped.

‘Good,’ he said as he made contact. Yoongi curled into his usual ball, wrapping his arms around his shins and pressing his head into his knees as he let his body rattle through the shakes. 

‘You’re doing great,’ said Jungkook. ‘The worst of it will be gone before you know it.’ 

‘I’m really freaking out,’ Yoongi whispered.

‘Are you getting flashbacks?’

‘Mhm.’

‘That stuff you’re imagining happened, but it was years ago.. Now you’re safe. Now you’re with me and five other people who love you and protect you every single day.’

‘They’ll come for me again. I know they will. I’m-- I’m ruined. I’m a sinner.’ 

‘You’re safe, Yoongs. You’re at home. Nobody can hurt you. They’ll have to fight through the rest of us first if they try, but they can’t because they’re all locked up. There’s nothing wrong with you. They tried to convince you of things that aren’t real because they wanted to exploit you, but they were wrong.’

‘I don’t believe-- you.’

‘You don’t have to. But think about it for me. Don’t you trust me? Me, Jungkook?’ Yoongi was quiet except for the small gasps that escaped his throat as he bore the brunt of the attack. 

Namjoon wandered over silently to check on them. The others were talking in a low tone about whatever was being shown on the screen, making an effort to not pay attention to what was going on at the doorway.

‘He’ll be okay,’ Jungkook reassured him. Namjoon nodded. He looked down at Yoongi’s condensed, quivering frame and tried to relax the panic bubbling up in his own stomach. He knew there was nothing to worry about. He was home and safe and the attack would be over before long. But recently Namjoon himself had been struggling with anxiety in a way he never had done before, ever since the incident with Jin. He often found himself sitting up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night as nightmares were beginning to creep into his resting state. He had flashbacks to that day when they found Jin in the cupboard of that grimy old apartment outside of town. He wouldn’t ever forget how hellish that felt.

Because of his newfound understanding of what it might feel like for Yoongi in such moments, his heart ached for him even more than it used to. He knew now that it was an indescribable fear, worse even than fearing death, somehow. He was coming to appreciate just how powerful the human mind was, and how easily the body is victim to its control. 

He took a deep breath to calm himself down more and wandered over to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water for his friend.

‘When you’re ready to get up let me know and I’ll help you.’ Yoongi nodded into his knees, but he wasn’t coming down yet. It was lasting longer than average. 

‘Should I make the bed?’ Asked Namjoon as he brought over the glass. He made sure not to fill it to the brim so that if Yoongi was shaking at all he didn’t spill it if he tried to hold it. 

‘Huh? Oh, that’s right, the sheets are outside. Yeah, that would be really helpful, thanks Hyung.’ Namjoon smiled and slipped past them towards the door. Namjoon felt secure whenever he saw how good Jungkook was around Yoongi. It seemed like he was able to understand him well... granted, he had mentioned before that he too had suffered from attacks in the years following his time in Seoul. It wasn’t just that, though. He was also really good at keeping himself calm and saying the right things. Namjoon couldn’t figure out whether it was a rare skill or something he’d learned throughout his teenage therapy sessions, but either way it impressed him. He wanted to have the same ability someday.

‘We’re going to be stuck inside a bit more often now, is there something you want to start doing?’ Asked Jungkook. Yoongi couldn’t actually reply, but it always helped him to divert his thoughts towards something else. He tried to offer him the glass of water but he wasn’t quite ready to take it.

‘I was thinking maybe we could start something together…’ Yoongi gave a violent shudder as he said that. 

‘Or we could do something on our own, it doesn’t bother me,’ he continued, but Jungkook couldn’t help but wonder what it was about his suggestion that made Yoongi react that way. 

‘I was thinking about learning an instrument or something. What do you think I should learn? I’ve always wanted to try playing the piano.’ 

‘I’ll help!’ Taehyung called from the sofa, exposing the fact that they were all, secretly, listening in. ‘I took lessons before.’

‘Taehyung-ah,’ Jimin gently scolded him. He looked at him, eyes wide with guilt. But it was already out.

‘You did?’ 

‘Yeah um... it was a while ago but I probably remember the basics.’ 

‘That would be great,’ said Jungkook, trying hard not to raise his voice too much.

‘I guess Taehyung can help me out then. Isn’t that good?’ Yoongi nodded since he couldn’t quite manage a response yet. He was still trying to force close those open doors in his mind that were vomiting out endless streams of poisonous thoughts. It was taking all of his concentration. Jungkook made a mental note to remind Mr. Chang to run through more techniques to help him deal with the attacks before he started his job. The last thing he wanted was for Yoongi to end up in a bad way during one of his shifts. He was hoping that the manager was the understanding sort. Jungkook knew if anyone tried to give him a hard time for it they’d have six guys breathing down their neck, and they’d probably force Yoongi to quit.

Namjoon re-entered the apartment carrying the mound of freshly-washed linen. He stumbled next to them as he tried to pick up a hanging piece of clean fabric that was threatening to brush against the dusty floor.

‘Sorry,’ he said quietly as he stepped between them again and headed towards the bedroom.

‘Wanna come lie down with me for a while?’ Yoongi nodded again. Jungkook’s shoulders relaxed. After the others had learned how to react it was surprisingly easy to help Yoongi out. He responded to everything rather than fought back like he used to and he was open to their help in a way that nobody knew he was capable of. 

  
  


After a few more minutes Namjoon returned to say that the bed was made up. 

‘I’ve put music on too, is that good for you Hyung?’ Yoongi nodded. He lifted up his head slightly and the other two saw that his jaw was chattering slightly. His eyes were red from the way he always rubbed his face against his knees. 

Jungkook smiled encouragingly and held out his hands. 

‘Ready?’ Yoongi sniffed slightly, his face looking tired, and gripped onto Jungkook to hoist himself up. Namjoon stood near him, ready to reach out in case he was unsteady on his feet. Slowly, Jungkook started to walk him to the bedroom.

‘You’re doing really well today,’ he said. Yoongi didn’t respond but he was listening. He wished he could show some kind of positive emotion in response to Jungkook’s endless comfort and reassurance, but his expression was a slave to his attack.

‘See you in a bit, Hyung,’ Taehyung called as they entered the bedroom. Jungkook gave him a quick wave on behalf of the boy in his care. 

After Jungkook lowered him carefully onto the mattress, Yoongi immediately let himself flop back onto the fresh sheets. He vaguely registered Epik High playing in the background.  _ Of course. _

‘Don’t they smell good?’ Asked Jungkook. ‘I told Hosoek to buy this really good Lenor fabric conditioner. It’s the one my Mum always uses.’

‘Mhm,’ Yoongi said quietly. Jungkook perched himself next to him. 

‘Are you happy like that or do you want me to lie down with you?’ Yoongi was about to respond affirmatively to his suggestion, but he stopped himself. For the first time, something about their bodies touching so close seemed weird to him. It was unexpected, to say the least, considering that Yoongi and Jungkook always slept in each other’s arms and had done so for months, even before they started dating.

‘I’m good,’ he said with an odd delay. Jungkook was taken aback. It wasn’t like Yoongi to refuse a cuddle. 

‘Okay, I’ll just sit here and… wanna chat about something?’ 

‘N-no I’ll just try to sleep.’ That bewildered Jungkook even more. Yoongi wanted to sleep by himself? After an attack? Were North and South Korea reunifying?

‘Okay, that’s fine,’ he tried to say as normally as he could. ‘Should I stay here?’

‘Yeah,’ said Yoongi, though he had no idea what exactly he wanted Jungkook to do.

‘Sure,’ Jungkook replied, positively stumped by that point. There was an unusual tension between them that he’d never really experienced before. Yoongi seemed to be thinking of something that Jungkook couldn’t even hazard a guess at. It was bizarre and worrying. 

  
  


After an hour or so of Jungkook… well, sitting there doing nothing, Yoongi had fallen asleep. He always did afterwards and he would probably be unconscious for the foreseeable future. It was good, though, Mr. Chang had informed them. It was just his body’s way of healing after expelling so much energy in such a short time. The longer he slept the better he’d feel when he woke up, so Jungkook knew he ought to try his best to not disturb him, but what was he supposed to do exactly? 

If he sat there for the next however many hours, doing nothing whilst Yoongi was in dreamland and not even capable of knowing whether he was still there or not, what would be the point in that? But he could only imagine how pissed off Yoongi would be, or even worse, frightened, if he woke up and Jungkook wasn’t there. He said he would sit next to him after all, and Jungkook knew well that Yoongi was the last person on Earth you should break a promise with, even a small one. He would take commitments of any kind to his grave.

And, besides all that, he wasn’t allowed to lie down with him. Not that he was even tired anyway: it was only early afternoon. 

Jungkook sighed. He knew he would run into odd inconveniences from time to time with Yoongi and it didn’t bother him in the slightest, but he would be bored as hell just sitting in one spot for an indefinite time. He glanced over his shoulder at his sleeping boyfriend’s face. He looked at peace, finally. He noticed that his lips were dried out and purple slightly. He must have been biting on them too. He did that a lot.

He leaned over to the bedside cabinet and pulled out the lip balm. As delicately as an artist painting the final strokes on a canvas, he took a little smear of the product on his forefinger and smoothed it over the rough skin on Yoongi’s lips. He rubbed it back and forth, feeling their plumpness. Jungkook felt tingly as he remembered the moments that they’d kissed. There hadn’t been a lot, but when it had happened it made him feel giddy. Like he was on a cloud. He took much longer than he needed to to rub in the product.  _ Much _ longer.

In his daze of thoughts he pressed his finger down slightly and Yoongi’s eyelids suddenly fluttered open. Jungkook paused, looking back at him for a moment in silence. His finger remained in the same position.

‘They were really dry,’ he explained. He swallowed nervously as Yoongi held his gaze without saying a word. Then, he turned his head away, and Jungkook pulled his hand back quickly. 

‘Must have been really dry…’ Yoongi mumbled as he turned away from Jungkook to sleep on his side instead. Jungkook cursed at himself mentally. Yoongi had totally been aware of what he was doing. He wasn’t supposed to do that kind of thing. For all the good choices he’d made that afternoon, it had only taken one mistake for Jungkook to feel like he’d failed Yoongi that day.

‘Sorry, Hyung. I was just trying to help.’ 

‘You can leave, by the way. I’m fine now.’

‘No, I want to stay. It’s okay.’

‘I don’t intend on waking up any time soon…’ Yoongi droned, half-asleep. ‘Just go. I want to be alone anyway.’

‘Should I turn the music off?’ 

‘No, leave it…’ 

‘Do you want to lie under the covers?’

‘No, I’m fine like this.’

‘Ok, should I change your clothes--’

‘ _ No _ , okay? I’m fine, just let me sleep for fucks’ sake!’ Yoongi sat up all of a sudden. Jungkook’s eyes became saucers.

‘Sorry, it’s not your fault,’ Yoongi quickly backtracked.. ‘It’s just-- it’s bad right now. I just need to sort it out. I’m not upset with you at all,  _ at all _ ,’ he stressed.  _ Damnit. How the fuck am I going to manage this one? I can’t even tell Jungkook what it’s about... _

Jungkook nodded quickly and tried not to let his hurt show. He knew Yoongi didn’t mean to say that. He knew that. It was nothing to be upset over. It was just because he was having a hard day, for reasons that he didn’t know and therefore couldn’t offer help with. He was doing his best, he told himself. 

Still, it didn’t feel good for Yoongi to be angry with him, even for a split second. 

‘Everything okay in there?’ Namjoon’s concerned voice came through the door. He as never very far away. Yoongi groaned and lay back down. 

‘We’re fine, I’m just coming out,’ replied Jungkook. He stood up and hesitated for a moment, wondering whether he should give Yoongi a quick kiss before he left, but something was warning him against it. Instead, he just went, without touching him or saying anything more. 

His instinct told him it was the best thing he could do for his boyfriend at that time. 

Back then, Jungkook had no clue what that afternoon marked the beginning of in their relationship.

  
  



	2. The Intrusions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! My laptop kindly let me use it today lol. We'll see when it is so very generous again and I should be able to put out another Into the Light chapter! 
> 
> I hope everyone's keeping well and if you have to go back to work next week like many people are, make sure to pace yourself! You might be a bit rusty to begin with!
> 
> Lisa

Yoongi emerged from the bedroom sixteen hours later. It was early morning the following day after his attack and after the group realised that they were going to be trapped indoors together for the foreseeable future due to the nationwide quarantine. 

He opened the door carefully and stepped out to see Jungkook, Namjoon, Jin and Hoseok all sitting in the main room around the kitchen table. All of their expectant eyes turned to him at hearing the noise of the handle. Yoongi swallowed uncomfortably under their gaze. Everyone except Jungkook quickly looked away.

‘Morning,’ said Jungkook, his voice not really giving anything away.

‘Morning,’ Yoongi replied in his usual dulcet tone. He approached the table and saw that everyone was eating some kind of hotteok. 

‘What’s that?’ he asked.

‘Hotteok á la Hoseok,’ Jin replied brightly. ‘Want some?’ 

‘Yeah, I’ll try,’ said Yoongi as he sat down next to Jungkook. He wanted to apologise again for the way he’d exploded at him the previous day, but the atmosphere that morning seemed too casual. Hoseok jumped up to fetch Yoongi a plate.

‘Where are the guys?’ asked Yoongi, referring to the only two residents not present.

‘They’re in the room still. They’re doing some stretching routine. Apparently they’re starting some month-long yoga quarantine challenge,’ said Hoseok, with a hint of bemusement.

‘I think I’m going to like this whole quarantine thing if Hoseok keeps cooking us breakfasts like this,’ said Namjoon. Hoseok smiled.

‘I’ve got to fill my time doing something!’ He replied. 

Yoongi glanced at Jungkook uncertainly. He glanced back at him and Yoongi held his gaze for a moment, not sure whether he should make an attempt.

‘Did you sleep okay?’ Jungkook ended up speaking before he could convince himself to say something. _ Damnit _ .

‘Yeah… I woke up a while ago actually. Where did you sleep though?’

‘I went back to my place.’

‘Wait, you were gone?’

‘Yeah. Sorry, I didn’t want to disturb you to tell you I was going. I opened the door to check but you were sound asleep when I left.’ 

‘Ah...’ Yoongi wasn’t sure how to take that information. He didn’t feel good about making Jungkook sleep alone, as well as forcing him to trek all the way back to his halls with minimal public transport running and it only added to the guilt that he already had weighing down on his heart.

But the apology harbouring within him was still not surfacing. The problem was that Yoongi didn’t know how to apologise to Jungkook. The boy was always so immediately forgiving and he never stayed mad at him, so he rarely had an opportunity to do so. Yoongi, in a way, wished he wasn’t like that, as much as he appreciated it. It was true he needed someone who wouldn’t guilt-trip him or hold grudges because, unfortunately, he still made a lot of mistakes, and it would be a never-ending cycle of agitation and friction between them if Jungkook were like that. He knew he was probably going to end up sick of having to hear his apologies every day because there was always something he’d done wrong, and if Yoongi himself didn’t realise it, one of the others would tell him what the problem was. Jungkook, on the other hand, was so unassuming and understanding that even Yoongi could do no wrong in his eyes. Not really.

What would his new psychiatrist advise him to do in that situation? Yoongi thought about it. During their recent session they had been talking about employment and Yoongi mentioned that he was concerned that he wouldn’t be able to do so well at his new job because he wasn’t confident in his customer service ability and such things, and at the time Mr. Chang had reassured him that he didn’t need to start off being great at anything. 

‘Walk if you can’t run. Crawl if you can’t walk,’ he said at the time. 

With that thought in mind, Yoongi decided it would be better to start with something else. The truth was he had awoken a couple of hours before he’d left the bedroom because he was doing a little research, and all that was left was for him to make the suggestion to Jungkook. He had read up on his new favourite dating advice blog, the one that he’d started reading a couple of weeks before. It was called “A Fig and a Pomegranate,” and Yoongi supposed it was supposed to sound cute. There could be some deeper meaning to it, but he had more pressing information to acquire to bother to look it up.

The final step was to muster up the courage to ask Jungkook about it out loud. Yoongi had practised enough times in his head to know what he was going to say word-for-word before he began.

‘So, Jungkook, are you free this weekend?’ he started. His voice sounded somewhat robotic, but he hoped it was less obvious to the others. Apparently, according to romance guru K. Daniel, that phrase was the most relaxed way of opening up the date proposal conversation.

‘Uh yeah, I mean, we’re all in quarantine.’  _ Fuck… obviously. _

‘O-oh that’s lucky because I happen to be going to the park for a picnic if you want to join me?’ The other boys paused eating to look up at Yoongi with mirrored confused expressions. Yoongi gulped and started cutting up a hotteok to seem more chill. That was another tip that the blog post gave him. Well, it didn’t specify that you should cut up a hotteok, but it said you should multi-task to seem less imposing, and thus, you reduce the pressure on the other person to respond which makes them more likely to agree.

‘You “happen” to be going for a picnic?’ Asked Hoseok, his brow furrowed deeply.

‘Mhm,’ Yoongi replied, his voice betraying him, going slightly out of tune. He’d raked through the numerous pages on date ideas and it seemed like the picnic was the best option. Firstly, it would be doable under quarantine restrictions so long as they didn’t go near anyone else. Secondly,Yoongi would be able to show that he cared by putting effort into preparing it, which was another one of the most important aspects of a good date. Lastly, it checked off one of the essential qualities of the  _ perfect _ date: it had to be somewhere significant to the couple. Jungkook and Yoongi both loved Duryu Park and had met there before. It was a well-researched and carefully considered plan.

‘A picnic? Do you like… picnics?’ asked Jungkook. He wasn’t even 100% certain that Yoongi wasn’t pulling a prank on him, but that wouldn’t exactly be typical Yoongi behaviour either. There was no obvious explanation for it.

‘Yeah, sure I do, who doesn’t…’ Yoongi mumbled _. That’s what the article said anyway... _

‘I just-- you never mentioned them before so I didn’t realise they were your thing.’

‘I do. I, well, I haven’t been on one before but I suppose I would like it…’ Namjoon and Jin exchanged a glance which let the other know that neither of them had a clue what Yoongi was going on about. If Namjoon didn’t know they really had no chance.

‘Well, if you want to do it, sure, I’d love to go on a picnic with you,’ said Jungkook, even though he was still somewhat perplexed. Yoongi and picnics? Since when was that ever an established passion?

Yoongi felt a sense of achievement but he didn’t let it show. He remembered he had to keep his cool, so as not to seem  _ too _ excited which might scare the other person off. All of those tips were hard to remember, but without them Yoongi would never have been able to ask Jungkook out on a proper date.

‘Should I bring some food?’ Asked Jungkook after he saw that Yoongi wasn’t going to enlighten him any more on the reason behind his random request.

‘No, don’t worry I got it. Oh!’ Yoongi suddenly gasped slightly, almost choking on his hotteok as he remembered something. The others watched him with ever intensifying bewilderment. They’d never seen Yoongi so out of character before.

‘Could you stay in your apartment beforehand? I want the food to be a surprise.’

‘Well, that’s the thing I’m not really supposed to go back, I brought all my stuff this morning,’ Jungkook nodded at his luggage that was still sitting by the door. Yoongi pursed his lips with frustration.

‘Okay well, don’t peek until we get to the park.’ Yoongi didn’t know why it irritated him so profoundly that a detail of his master plan had been mildly soiled. 

  
  


‘Ma-an that was refreshing!’ Jimin breathed as he glided out of the bedroom. Taehyung followed behind him. He leaned forward as they were walking towards the kitchen to wrap his arms around Jimin’s small waist and plod along foot-by-foot with him, making their bodies sway side-to-side. Jimin giggled and grabbed onto Taehyung’s hands.

‘Hey guys, want some hotteok á la Hoseok?’ Asked Namjoon.

‘Oh no, we’re going on a health kick starting from today!’ Jimin announced. Taehyung seemed less enthusiastic, but he nodded in accordance, his head resting now on Jimin’s shoulder.

‘That’s a shame because I’ve decided I’m going to become a pro baker by the end of this,’ said Hoseok. The two boys gulped.

‘Well I dunno, make us a carrot cake,’ Taehyung proposed as he felt his resolve sway already.

‘It’s not fucking healthy just ‘cause it has a vegetable in it,’ Yoongi grumbled. Taehyung made a face at him, the kind that kids make to one another when teasing.

‘There must be some way to make healthy bakes, we’ll find it and pass it on to you, thank you--’ Jimin trilled to Hoseok with a proud smile. 

‘Why are you two going on a health kick? You’re so slim already,’ said Jin. 

‘Mhm-- that’s not it, Hyung. We’re going on a health kick for our  _ health _ , key word! We already know that our bodies are bangin’,’ Taehyung replied with a cheeky grin. 

‘Good luck with that,’ sighed Yoongi. ‘But don’t come whining to us when you start craving chocolate.’

‘We won’t, we’re going to be super resistant! Right Tae-Tae?’

‘You betcha Chim Chim!’ 

‘It’s too early for this…’ said Yoongi. The others around the table snickered. 

‘What is everyone else doing today?’ Asked Jungkook, glancing around the table. They had all just finished their food and were sipping on their glasses of orange juice. 

‘I, for one, am going to take this opportunity to study hard and get ahead of my class,’ said Namjoon in his teacher voice. 

‘You’re already ahead of your class,’ Yoongi pointed out. 

‘True, but, I wasn’t working at my top capacity last semester because of… well, you know, we were all busy…’ Namjoon’s reference to the outings that stopped for good at the end of the previous year made everyone slightly on edge. ‘Now, however, I have all the time in the world! No commuting, no parties, no social obligations, nothing. It’s just me and the books.’

‘And the knitting needles,’ Taehyung added with a mocking snigger of laughter. 

‘Oh yeah, I need to start that too! I’ll order the materials now, in fact…’ Namjoon, unfazed by Taehyung’s taunting, took out his phone to search for his supplies.

‘What about you, Yoongs? You were supposed to start working soon…’ Jungkook turned the attention to Yoongi.

‘Uh… I have some stuff I want to learn about…’ Yoongi said vaguely. 

‘Oh? Can I know what it is?’ 

‘No. It’s a surprise.’ 

‘So many surprises with you today,’ said Jin, smiling. Yoongi shrugged. 

‘Since we’re in quarantine, may as well…’

*****

The hotly anticipated picnic weekend rapidly arrived, but before it did, the days didn’t go by without incident. It felt like it had only been that morning that Yoongi had asked Jungkook out on the date, being that time seemed to be moving at lightning speed the longer they were cooped up inside. 

On the first day there hadn’t really been any particular structure or routine; the boys just sort-of mingled around and did various things here and there when they could be bothered to, but most of the time they were lounging back or watching TV mindlessly. All of them except Yoongi, who was busy researching on his new laptop more about tips for first dates and picnic food ideas, and Namjoon who had kept true, more or less, to his promise to study.

On the second day the younger boys were starting to get bored already, so they pulled out a couple of board games and started playing them around mid-afternoon. Namjoon moved his studying to the bedroom and Jin joined him for the sake of keeping him company. It was a subtle way for the two to get some alone time together without drawing attention to the fact.

Namjoon was sitting at the study desk in the large bedroom, staring out of the window as he went over the material he had just read in his chunky Carl Jung theory textbook. Jin was lying on his bed, watching him contentedly. He sighed somewhat regretfully as he watched Namjoon recede further and further into his study bubble and it seemed that he wasn’t going to get any interaction for several hours. 

‘Hey,’ he said all of a sudden. ‘Hey,’ Jin repeated when Namjoon didn’t react. Namjoon twitched as Jin’s voice brought him back down to Earth and turned to face him. Jin was lying with his hands cradling the back of his head, propping him up comfortably, and his left leg was crossing daintly over his right. 

‘This might be the only alone time we can get for the next few weeks…’ Jin started slowly. Namjoon nodded and shrugged lamentably. Jin watched him but he knew Namjoon hadn’t understood what he was implying. 

‘We never get a room to ourselves, just the two of us. There’s always someone else around.’ 

‘Yeah, that’s true. I kinda hate that,’ Namjoon agreed, but he was still looking back at Jin naively. 

Jin nodded slowly. He was still waiting on Namjoon to pick up his cues. He sat up in his usual, graceful manner and got up off the mattress to walk towards his chair. When he was next to Namjoon, he motioned for him to make space.

‘Huh?’ Namjoon didn’t understand what he was asking him to do. Jin rolled his eyes and smiled fondly. 

‘Sorry Joon-ah. Sometimes I forget that you’re not as savvy as I am about this stuff.’ 

‘This… oh.’ Finally, it dawned on Namjoon what he was implying. 

‘But the others are next door…’ he whispered.

‘They won’t disturb us for twenty minutes or so.’ Jin took a strand of Namjoon’s hair between his fingers and twirled it gently. Namjoon closed his eyes and let the anticipatory sensation take over his body. They had barely had a moment to kiss in private since they’d begun dating, let alone take it any further.

‘Shouldn’t we put something in front of the door? Just in case?’ He suggested, still nervous.

‘Come on, they’re busy. Can’t you hear them?’ at that moment a loud “WOOP!” from Taehyung sounded throughout the apartment. 

‘Anyway, we don’t want to draw attention to ourselves… just relax,’ Jin cooed. ‘Nothing is going to happen.’ Jin swiveled the chair towards himself so he could step one foot up at a time and perch himself carefully on Namjoon’s thighs. 

‘I feel sorta embarrassed to be honest… I don’t have experience like you do. I didn’t even have a clue about what you were trying to say two minutes ago,’ Namjoon laughed awkwardly. Jin looked down at him with kind, loving eyes and placed both of his hands on Namjoon’s neck. He massaged the back of it tenderly and tilted the boy’s face up slightly to look at him.

‘I was worried you would feel bad about that… but you don’t need to worry, not even a little,’ he mumbled. ‘I’ll teach you everything you need to know… and more, if you want.’ Namjoon nodded like he was in a daze. In that moment, he would happily let that man teach him any lesson he damn wanted to. He pushed the textbooks away, letting their covers flap closed. There was a new subject, one that was far more interesting, for him to delve into. 

  
  


Ten minutes later and things had heated up so intensely that there was a creeping of condensation on the window pane. A minute later, Jin had guided Namjoon over to the bed instead. They were concentrating on each other; blocking out the sounds of their friends next door shouting and stamping the floor at the board game they were playing. In both rooms, the occupants were totally immersed in two totally different activities. 

The bedroom was called the ‘big room’ but it was still small and there was only space for the desk, two modest wardrobes and the two double mattresses which sat on the floor. It wasn’t exactly a palace, but at that moment it didn’t matter at all to either of the boys where they were. They would make it their own, personal paradise.

And they were doing just that rather effectively, but things never quite went to plan in that apartment. 

But just as Jin slipped off his shirt in a single move so quick and smooth that it had seemed like a magic trick to Namjoon, a voice came out so loud that it was enough to break their focus. 

‘OH- SH- SORRY!’ It blurted. Namjoon looked up at Jin, who was now straddling his thighs topless, in sheer horror. Jin sighed and gritted his teeth, turning away as much as he could from whoever was at the door.

‘It’s fine, Jungkook-ah,’ Jin bemoaned. Jungkook was standing like a statue at the door, his hand still frozen on the handle. Yoongi quickly slipped out of their room to see what the fuss was about after hearing Jungkook’s gasp. He peeked over his shoulder and held his breath at the strange new sight. Jungkook clasped his hand over Yoongi’s eyes, but Yoongi pulled it down again, too intrigued to look away.

‘What’s going on?’ Taehyung’s voice called from the corridor as he galloped towards them, gleeful from his lucky streak in the boardgame. When he reached the door he reacted just as Yoongi and Jungkook had done.

‘What, what is it?’ Asked Jimin after hearing Taehyung’s reaction. Namjoon tensed up with humiliation, turning his face away. The other two boys also joined the crowd at the door so every space was filled with someone peering in and holding their breath at the scene in front of them like a crowd of people in the street had just stopped to stare, horrified but oddly interested, at a nudist display. 

‘You guys are… are… when we were just...’ Jimin said slowly.

‘I didn’t realise it was like--’ said Hoseok, but he stopped himself from finishing. 

‘Hyung, your back looks so good from this angle,’ Taehyung marveled, evidently less startled by the situation than he had pretended to be. Jimin elbowed him in the ribs, causing him to crease in pain and take a few steps away from the viewing area.

‘Okay, has everyone gotten a good look? Have you taken your photos? Can you leave us alone now?’ Jin demanded, his voice unusually deep and growly. Hoseok fell a few paces back, realising just how weird and intrusive they were being. 

‘Sorry, we’ll leave!’ he said, grabbing onto Jimin and Jungkook’s arms and tugging them away.

‘But-- but-- that’s Namjoon and--’ Jimin was still babbling, unable to process what his eyes had witnessed. Yoongi stood for a moment longer, strangely drawn into the rare picture. It was weird that it was his friends, he recognised that much, but something about their energy together in that moment, and the way the two men looked so different to their usual selves, so much stronger and yet more vulnerable, fascinated him. He was still standing quietly at the door after Hoseok realised he hadn’t moved with the rest of them. 

‘We won’t bother you again,’ said Hoseok as he guided Yoongi away whilst being mindful about not touching him, closing the door behind them.

‘Don’t be weird about it,’ Hoseok warned Yoongi quietly after they had reached the kitchen. The others were standing around awkwardly like they didn’t know what to do with themselves.

‘I wasn’t… sorry, I don’t know what I was doing. I blacked out,’ Yoongi mumbled. Hoseok sighed and nodded. He saw that the others were also struggling to come to terms with the fresh image of their two best friends getting heated together printed in their minds.

‘Guys, step outside with me,’ Hoseok ordered, sensing that some kind of discussion had to be held. The others glided along almost like zombies to the door; like kids who had just seen Mummy kissing Santa Claus, and also presumed that it meant she was cheating on Dad.

‘Listen, the last thing Namjoon and Jin need right now is for all of us to make this weirder,’ Hoseok said sternly once they were all congregated on the landing. 

‘Don’t you realise it’s hard enough for them as it is? They never get a moment alone to themselves!’ 

‘Well… to be honest, I didn’t realise they were so… far gone,’ said Jimin, eyeing Taehyung to gauge his thoughts. He was similarly oblivious.

‘Yeah, I didn’t think they were a  _ proper couple _ ,’ Taehyung concurred. Jungkook looked at them with wide eyes.

‘Are you kidding me? I didn’t even have a clue that they were dating until now!’ He hissed. 

The others took in a sharp breath. It hadn’t crossed their minds that nobody had mentioned the fact to Jungkook yet. Jungkook turned to look at Yoongi, his eyes wide and questioning.

‘What? I didn’t think they wanted anyone to make a big deal about it. Besides, wasn’t it obvious after the whole Jin kidnapping incident? Or was I the only one who heard Namjoon begging Jin not to die because he was the “love of his life” or whatever corny shit he said that day?’

‘We were kinda preoccupied at that moment!’ Jimin exclaimed. ‘I didn’t quite catch what Namjoon was saying above all of the stabbing and DEATH!’ Hoseok shifted uncomfortably. That topic was still a touchy one for him, being that he had had no choice but to kill one of the kidnappers. Hoseok was anything but violent, and though he knew it was a pure act of self-defense, it still made his skin crawl that he’d done something so callous. He would never forget the image of the scene in his mind. 

‘Anyway…’ Yoongi quickly tried to change the subject. ‘It was pretty obvious to me that they were serious. They share a bed these days.’

‘It’s not like you and Namjoon were fucking when you shared a bed,’ Taehyung pointed out. 

‘Well, you know it’s different with me.’

‘So that explains why Hosoek is using the couch…’ Jungkook was realising things by himself. Hoseok nodded absentmindedly. 

‘The point is we need to be chill about this. And also give them their space,’ said Yoongi firmly. 

‘I agree. We need to install a lock on the other bedroom,’ said Hoseok. 

‘So they’re just gonna be… in there? When the rest of us are in the apartment?’ Jungkook asked in a small voice. Yoongi snorted. There was something cute about how naïve he sounded talking about it.

‘The walls aren’t exactly soundproof. Tae has already tested that more than once,’ Jimin smirked at Taehyung. Taehyung sighed.

‘I already told you guys I didn’t mean for you to hear anything, anyway it’s not like we went all the way!’

‘We know,’ said Yoongi. ‘We literally heard _ everything. _ But what other choice do we have? We can’t leave the apartment right now, unless we all strategically buy groceries at the same time.’ 

Hoseok cocked his head to the side. 

‘Well, actually maybe that would work. We will just need to be kinda… forward about what we’re doing.’ 

‘This is going to be awkward as hell,’ said Jimin. ‘Dibs not saying it!’ he slapped his finger to his mouth and shot his arm up in the air to indicate that he was off the hook from having the uncomfortable conversation. Taehyung quickly followed and Jungkook wasn’t far behind them. Hoseok rolled his eyes and looked at Yoongi, fully expecting to have the responsibility dumped onto him as usual, but he hadn’t moved a muscle.

He raised his eyebrows with surprise.

‘I’ll do it with you,’ Yoongi mumbled, glancing away. 

‘Really? You will?’ The elder boy nodded.

‘I owe you one.’ Hoseok didn’t know what to say. Jungkook looked at Yoongi from the side and gave him a small smile of recognition when he caught his eye. He knew he was trying in his own way to rebuild his relationship with Hoseok even though it wasn’t easy for him to deal with such things.

‘Thanks, Hyung. I guess that’s that settled. Let’s just go back inside and act natural, play some music or something--’ Hoseok turned to go back into the apartment but Jimin spoke before he could walk.

‘One more thing… I was just wondering, what do you guys think about the fact that Jin Hyung is still working?’ he asked. It took a moment before it clicked with the others just how strange it was. Jin was still a gigolo as he had been for years, which meant he was regularly sleeping with other men even though he had become serious with Namjoon. Was he really okay with that?

‘It’s up to Namjoon to decide what he thinks about it. Let’s trust that he knows what’s best for himself,’ said Hoseok diplomatically. The others nodded, but each of them couldn’t help but think that they wouldn’t be able to stand something like that. They had no clue of how Namjoon was so accepting of it.

‘Let’s play that game again!’ said Taehyung. ‘That’ll distract us!’ 

*****

The next day came the dreaded conversation that Yoongi and Hoseok had signed up to. Well, they hadn’t exactly “signed up,” per se, but it ended up being their job. 

When Yoongi woke up in the morning he was enveloped in Jungkook’s arms. Upon opening his heavy eyes he couldn’t see anything as his face was pressed into the boy’s black t-shirt. He sighed contentedly, feeling that fuzzy sensation in his chest that was becoming more familiar to him. He snuggled into Jungkook and nudged his nose into the fabric, smelling that fresh, floral scent that was in his favourite fabric conditioner. At that moment, an idea came to mind. He made a mental reminder for later.

‘Morning,’ Jungkook’s low, groggy voice sounded. Yoongi lifted his head up to see that the younger boy was wide awake. He was propped up slightly on the pillows and he was looking down at him, smiling up to his eyes.

‘Morning,’ Yoongi replied, his voice barely coming out. He cleared his throat gently and looked back at the spot on Jungkook’s chest that he’d just been nuzzling into. Such close eye contact felt intense somehow, even though he was perfectly happy to wrap his limbs around every part of Jungkook’s body. 

‘Have you been awake for long?’ he asked. 

‘Not too long, maybe half an hour,’ Jungkook replied. 

‘Sorry, I sleep in a lot… this is actually early for me,’ said Yoongi. Jungkook chuckled.

‘I know that much by this point. It’s not a problem though. I like lying here with you in the morning.’ Yoongi nodded, not knowing how to respond, but it was nice to hear it. Before they could savour more of that cosy, comfortable early spring morning, there was a faint tap at the door. 

‘We’re being interrupted,’ Yoongi groaned, sitting up properly though it took all of his might. 

‘Come in,’ he called. A moment later, Hoseok appeared in the door frame. He spoke in a furtive whisper.

‘Hey, Hyung, sorry to disturb but the others just went out and Jin and Namjoon are through in the kitchen. Do you wanna…?’ Yoongi sighed irritably. He didn’t really “wanna” do anything except have his morning snuggle, but he had made a commitment to Hoseok and he could see he was anxious to get the talk over with.

‘Fine, let’s just do it.’

Jungkook reached out to squeeze Yoongi’s wrist lightly before he got up. Yoongi turned back to look at him briefly, his expression not giving much away but Jungkook knew what he wanted to communicate. He was regretful that he had to break off their blissful moment.

In the kitchen, Hoseok sat down carefully in front of Namjoon and Jin who were both eating their breakfast in silence at the end of the kitchen table. Yoongi took the chair next to him. He avoided catching their gazes, fearing that it would remind him of what he’d seen the previous day and make him blush. After the incident, Namjoon and Jin had remained in the bedroom by themselves until late and Yoongi was already asleep by the time they emerged to eat.

‘Hey, guys…’ Hoseok started. Namjoon looked between them and instantly recognised that they had both planned something. It was unusual for Yoongi to appear in the kitchen before 10 o’clock, let alone with Hoseok instead of Jungkook. 

‘This is about yesterday, right?’ asked Jin. Hoseok was taken aback at his forwardness, but he suspected it would be an easier topic for Jin to broach than the rest of them. Yoongi and Hoseok nodded. Yoongi placed his elbows on the table and started to pick nervously at his dry lips. He had almost broken the habit but occasionally he did it without realising. 

‘Yoongi,’ said Namjoon, mindful of the tic.

‘What? Oh.’ Yoongi dropped hands on the table and fiddled with his nails instead.

‘So… we have a proposal, if it sounds okay to you both,’ Hoseok started. He looked at Yoongi expectantly. Yoongi cleared his throat.

‘Yeah. So, uh… this might be really weird but right now, we think it’s necessary to do it this way.’ Yoongi gave a flat smile and a nod to indicate that he had finished his line. Hoseok took in a sharp breath. 

‘Okay um… well, you know yesterday’s situation wasn’t ideal for any of us. So we came up with a possible solution.’ He folded his hands politely. Yoongi pursed his lips, realising that the ball had been passed back into his court already. 

Namjoon and Jin looked back at them, waiting to hear what this proposition was that they were building up so much.

‘It’s an idea we all came up with. We all agreed on it, even though it’s kinda… awkward. But hopefully you’ll agree that it’s a good way of managing this new… thing.’ Yoongi stopped speaking and it was silent for a moment.

‘Y-yeah. I mean-- this isn’t easy for any of us--’

‘Just say what it is. We don’t find this awkward,’ Jin cut him off. Namjoon glanced at him as if to say “speak for yourself.”

‘Right. We should just… okay, the thing is, you guys need your… alone time, and we want to make sure you can have it. Yoongi?’

‘Fine. Okay, the idea is that when you guys need your space, we’ll all go out for… a set time and then return, so you don’t have to worry about being disturbed.’ Namjoon shuffled in his seat and avoided any eye contact, but Jin was relaxed. 

‘I see, so you want us to come up with a schedule, or some kind of system?’ Said Jin.

‘Exactly,’ replied Hoseok. ‘It might be weird for us to do it like this, but we can’t think of a better way.’

‘Mhm. Well, it sounds good to me, but we might need longer than an hour-- OUCH!’ Namjoon kicked Jin’s shin under the table with embarrassment.

‘What? It’s true though.’ 

‘An hour is fine,’ he said to the other boys. ‘Let’s keep it at that.’ 

‘And what day or time or how often… what suits best?’ asked Hoseok, pulling out his phone.

‘Uh…’ Namjoon looked at Jin for help. 

‘How often do you think we need it?’ asked Jin. Namjoon’s cheeks flared up even redder than they were before. Hoseok and Yoongi cringed internally. They couldn’t get used to their friends talking about having sex together.

Namjoon stared back at Jin, refusing to answer the question in front of the others. Jin laughed and patted him lightly on the thigh. 

‘Okay, let’s say twice a week. We’ll go for afternoon because… well, because I work at night and it would be easier if it was earlier in the day.’ Namjoon looked away and Yoongi noticed that his expression became somewhat darker at the mention of Jin’s job. 

‘Should we call it Tuesday and Friday?’ said Hoseok, mobile planner in hand, looking like a capable assistant.

‘Good for me,’ said Jin, turning to check with Namjoon who only nodded. He was still looking elsewhere. 

‘That’s settled then. It’s in the group calendar.’ 

‘Wait, what did you call the event?’ asked Yoongi, leaning over to check Hoseok’s screen.

‘NAMJIN’S SEXY TIME?! THE FUCK?’ He exclaimed, pulling the screen closer to check that what he read was right. Hoseok giggled.

‘I thought some humour would diffuse the tension!’ 

‘Fucks’ sake this is fucking weird…’ Yoongi moaned, sitting back into his seat and rubbing his long, dry hands over his tired eyes.

‘Sorry for the inconvenience... I know this is going to be strange for you all,’ said Jin. 

‘It’s fine,’ said Yoongi, keeping his eyes covered. ‘We’re happy you’re together.’

Hoseok nodded in agreement. Then, just as the conversation ran dry, the missing members of the group burst back into the apartment.

‘Guys we just got some masks for everyone! Tell us again that we’re the best friends!’ Said Jimin, stepping into the kitchen proudly lifting up a stuffed, white, plastic bag. 

‘That’s great, thanks Jimin!’ said Hoseok, beaming a grateful smile at him. 

‘WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?’ Taehyung exclaimed. ‘WHY DO WE HAVE A GROUP EVENT CALLED-- Oh, oh never mind…’ he stopped himself short upon realising what it signified. 

‘Guess we’re going shopping again tomorrow,’ Jimin said with a stiff laugh. 

Yoongi stood up and walked back to his bedroom, deciding he had seen enough of the morning and that it was time to return to his happy place.

  
  



End file.
